I’m such baby when I get sick. I always go into it so optimistic though, like I’ll be fine in a day or two. Then the next thing I know a week goes by. So I’m sorry for my absence but I feel better now.
But I even though I was missing the weekend wasn’t horrible.
Slowly taking over the mindfuck category on clips4sale
And some of the religious clips have hit the top 5 so yay
Keep buying em up.This month will be an overdose of clips I’m sure because I had quite a bit of money saved to try to get myself a new computer. This ones just almost intolerable. Cheap piece of shit. Over the weekend while I was sick I tried to play starcraft with my kids….ya right. Computer lags so bad I look like a newb, haha. I love starcraft I’m such a nerd.
Anyway all the money I had saved up for the new computer is gone now because apparently the state thinks I should pay them some tax money lol. Or maybe I should just take your tax money when you get it?
On the plus side I did pay off 900 dollars of debt I had last month so moving here has relieved a lot of my stress and I am actually making progress now. Yes, as you can tell in some of my videos, all the walls here aren’t complete yet and it looks kinda shitty. But what do you think I do with your money? lol. Least you know what your paying for? haha
No seriously I stopped working on the walls a bit ago when it started snowing and getting to cold. I’m not a happy person when it’s cold.I go into hiding like a bear. When it warms back up I will finish getting the walls and trim up. The house is livable most of the walls are done now.
I just need to finish 1 bathroom wall and a porch area. At some point maybe I’ll buy myself a bed. But oddly enough I’ve never actually had a bed and I’m 36 years old so why worry much about it now.
I use to sleep on a king size matress on the floor. In the past several years I’ve slept on a couch. Right now there’s 2 couches pushed together that form my bed. Oh and a bedroom door would be great haha
I know a lot of you are frustrated with me for not being online or doing live shows much anymore. I really say that’s tough shit. All the spam messages I get are slightly irritating, I have posted many times that if you want to see me I’ll only do it on a friday. And even if there is a slight chance any other day(no harm in asking) I still won’t do it past 3pm. Yes, I do know how inconvinient this is. These are the hours most people work. (but then why assume I’m any different than you?)
Why is it I should be expected to be here and waiting for you AFTER I’ve already worked just because your now off work.
I did that for about 10 years. Being around whenever people wanted me to. I can’t say it’s healthy. Some want you at 10pm, some at 4am, whatever I’m done with all of that. I’m finally able to sleep at night again and function like a real person not a robot zombie.
People expect me to make exceptions because they’ve been such loyal customers or because they will pay me extra.
I do appreciate my customers. I sometimes just wonder if they have common sense. That’s like me going to the store and asking why they can’t just open up at 3am because damnit I’ve been loyal and coming there for 10 years.
I realize you wanna get off. Maybe find a new girl? Or buy a video it’s not that complex. I know live is better for some of you. There’s tons of other fish in the sea though, stop spamming me.
That was the whole point of me moving. So I did not have to work unless I wanted to. I do have a family. And after 3pm I belong to them now. Get over it.
I also do not work on weekends.
The truth is I do not need to work at all now. I still choose to work because I enjoy it to much to quit and this is what I want to do. Anything I do now is simply for my own pleasure. To help fix my house. Buy myself new shoes. New clothes. Upgrade my video equipment.Buy a new pool? heh
But isn’t this what we all strive for in life. To get into a position that’s comfortable and stress free that you can work less and enjoy life. Don’t hate just because I’ve accomplished that.
Let us not forget I did work my ass off for 10 years being at every ones beck n call. But I don’t think that means I owe you now.
Work smarter not harder people.
Giving up on stupid dreams that are just never going to work out helps to. I know this is getting long but I also know some of you enjoy reading my ramblings so I will explain how I got to this place.
Before I moved I was like most people and wanted to accomplish a lot and have nice shit. I worked my ass off because I had to.I lived in probably one of the biggest houses in my town. 3 story plus a basement. I can’t even tell you how many rooms the house had, other than it was more than 25. I could still be there now working my butt off and never really making any progress.
I lived there for 12 years or so. And yea I could afford it. But I couldn’t afford to ever fix anything that broke.I couldn’t go out or give my kids money if they needed it. That house needed around 100k dollars worth of fixing.
And the monthly utilities in the winter time were around 1k. Add that into the actual house payment and you have about 1700 dollars a month payment just to be there. It sucked, and for years I always said it’s fine I can make the payment just have to work harder….and I did. But at some point common sense has to kick in. You just get to tired and ask yourself is this worth it. Yes I have a nice big house…but we all hopefully learn money and nice things aren’t everything.
So I didn’t have to leave. One day I just decided fuck it, I’m not paying it.And I started saving the money instead. Then I bought my current house for 6k dollars…yes only 6k dollars.It was a dump believe me. Nothing could be saved. And everything had to be torn out and thrown away. So I pretty much started over with just a house frame. There are only 6 rooms and a little porch in this new house and they are all very tiny. The outside of this house has all new siding and looks very nice now. As I said most of the inside is now done also other than adding new trim. And it didn’t take much money to do it. Purchasing and redoing this house cost WAY less than anything else I could have tried to get. Everyone said I shouldn’t do it. I was crazy blah blah. Best choice I ever made. I probably only have 15k in this house, if that.I’m thinking closer to 10k
Now I have a house I can turn into whatever I want. It can be as nice as I want it to be. I’m not over ran with bills and stuck never making progress. And I have a kick ass lake view!
Life is really whatever we make it to be.If you choose to be stuck then that’s on you. But for me I’ve learned sometimes just walking away is the best thing you can do for yourself.
Maybe that’ll at least inspire some of you.
On another note there’s suppose to be a huge snow storm here tomorrow. We’ll see. Hopefully it doesn’t knock out any power.